Where's my cookie?

A little reminder about putting yourself out there.

We’ve all been there.

That small, stubborn voice shows up at the worst moments and asks, “Okay… but where’s my cookie?”

Even when we’re good people. Even when we genuinely root for our friends. That inner child, that ego, still sits there quietly keeping score. And when that voice shows up for me, I know something important: it’s not about them. It’s about me.

Because I am rooting for my friends. Their wins are exciting. They’re inspiring. So why does that voice still creep in?

Years ago, I told a friend I’d enrolled in a screenwriting program through UCLA Extension. She was fascinated. Writing classes had never even crossed her mind.

Fast forward ten years. She’s now a playwright. A beautiful one. After last year’s wave of government layoffs, she found herself writing for a small seaside theater and performing in their shows.

And yes, I’ve had the thought: why am I not writing for a theater by the ocean?

A few years back, I made a plan. I told myself I’d wait until I had four solid scripts before putting myself out there. Now I have eight, and I know I have not been putting them out there.

A few weeks ago, another friend told me she’s in talks to have one of her plays optioned by Hallmark. My first reaction was pure excitement for her.

Then, right on cue, came the voice: “Why am I not in talks with Hallmark?”

Last summer, I had thrown way too much money into designing a website. I had a goal. I love story structure and teaching and I felt that this was my calling.

True to my ABL (Always Be Learning) motto, I had also signed up for a 10 week writing group. During one session, I offered some gentle notes, the kind that are standard in any workshop. They weren’t received well.

“I’ve won awards,” she said. “What have you won? What contests have you placed in?”She ended with, “You should just pat me on the back for having pages.”

That moment stuck with me longer than I want to admit. Because on some level, I believed her. What had I done?

I was down and out and having a dark night of the soul moment, and I was brooding to my fellow creatives, having my why didn’t I get the cookie moment, “Why haven’t I even placed in a contest.”

Then, during one of those low, frustrated conversations with friends, I got a much-needed reality check, BECAUSE YOU NEVER PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE!

That landed.

• You can’t win a contest you don’t enter.

• You can’t option a script you never pitch.

• You can’t become a screenwriter if no one knows you’re writing screenplays.

You can write. You can dream. You can “manifest.” But if you don’t take action, you’re just circling the same wants.

You cannot win a contest if you never apply. You will never be able to option your script if you do not query agents, managers, production companies. You will not become a playwright for a theater if you do not present yourself as a playwright to the desired theater, or any theater for that matter.

There’s a quote I love from narrator and coach Sean Pratt:
“What is one thing I can do today to move my career forward tomorrow?”

So I stopped overthinking and started taking action.

In the past two weeks, I’ve queried agents and production companies. I’ve submitted to three contests.

It’s not everything. But it’s movement.

And maybe that’s the real answer to the voice asking for the cookie. You don’t wait for it. You go where they’re being handed out.

So don’t think twice just write- and then put yourself out there.